she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
