spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
