don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
