he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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