In the future we'll all be gay
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
