THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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