"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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