matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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