just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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