Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
