Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
