I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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