wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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