Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize