i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
whose parrot is this?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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