There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
