Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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