Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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