is this the sara with the beer cane?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
These tits shall not be calmed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
