I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
