Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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