I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
