Fuck appropriateness.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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