Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
