does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize