and then he started using my ass as a stressball
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
