I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
