I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
