Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is wine microwaveable?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
