They should really pass out barf bags in church
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
