you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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