Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
