you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
