So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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