Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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