So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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