in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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