yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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