I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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