you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize