He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
