i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I stole a fireplace last night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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