Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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