hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
