i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
