she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize