If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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