Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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