I wanna passion pit in your ass
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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