We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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