what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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