the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
