the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
