Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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