did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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