My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
