Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
