but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
