Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
