i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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