If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
