He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize