he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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