omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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