so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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