I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
