My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
